No. 1 Noodle House, Rowland Heights: 1 of 10 Reasons My Job Is So Cool

A Daily Gluttony blog just wouldn't be a Daily Gluttony blog without the irreverent food/work combo posts so here goes.

My job kinda rocks.

But interestingly enough, not very many people understand what it is that I do without having worked in the retail industry. My own mom to this day couldn't tell you exactly what I do. She still tells her old Chinese mom friends that her daughter works in Finance. Usually I am referred to as a Financial Analyst but I've heard myself being labeled a Financial Planner too. Her friends then nod in approval because it's something they can understand. No offense to any of you financial analysts or planners out there, but I didn't shed an insane amount of blood, sweat and tears for years in the retail industry for nothing. No way--my job is so much cooler because:

1) I get to work with fashion and other cool stuff.

2) I get paid to go shopping.

3) I get paid to stay updated on fashion, style, and pop culture news.

4) I am not required to travel.

5) I get to see a bunch of private music shows.

6) I get to listen to music and watch music videos all day.

7) I can wear jeans and 5" platform stilettos to work and not get reprimanded for dressing inappropriately. Visible tattoos and piercings are completely acceptable.

8) I work with a lot of both interesting and nice people.

My mom and her friends would totally not get why reasons 1-8 would make any one think they'd hit the job hunting jackpot. But they would totally get why I'd love my job because of reasons 9 and 10...

9) At the end of the day, I'm doing what I do best which is being a numbers and data nerd.

Things involving math have a decent position on the career totem poles inside my mom's and her friends' heads. High up on that same totem pole are stuff like "doctor," "dentist," "lawyer," "investment banker," "engineer." Bonus points if one had such a career and lived at home with their parents at the same time.

And finally...

10) I work near a bunch of good food.

If my mom was able to meet me for lunch one day, I'd skip having her meet everyone at the office and instead take her to lunch at one of my favorite weekday lunch spots No. 1 Noodle House in Rowland Heights.

No. 1 Noodle House is nothing more than a small space with a counter at Rowland Heights' Yes Plaza. The official menu is in Chinese but there are large photos and English names of the restaurant's most popular selections behind the counter. If, like me, you're not a Mandarin speaker and/or the person behind the counter happens to be English-challenged, just point or talk in broken Mand-glish like I have in the past. Find a table in the indoor seating area to the right or at one of the patio tables outside and someone will bring your order to you. I like sitting outside and being surrounded by Yes Food Court's faux Neo-Classical facades--it makes me feel like I'm on vacation at Disneyland. Or Europe. Or Euro-Disney.

Despite how much I like my job, there are still days where I feel like my head is going to explode from crunching too many numbers. My brow gets furrowed and my face gets all squished up from thinking too hard. On such days, I know I can count on the spicy options at No. 1 Noodle House to clear my head up and relax my forehead. Take that, Botox.

On colder days, I usually opt for their spicy beef noodle soup, niu rou mian, to warm my belly and clear my sinuses. I've heard conflicting reviews about these with critics saying that the soup's bland and lacks spice and/or depth which fortunately for me, has never been the case. Sure, it's not the best I've had, but its rich, beefy broth is fine by me. Tender chunks of beef and pickled greens help to round the whole thing out. If you're worried about the broth not being bold enough, be sure to tell the counterperson that you want it spicy. Usually they'll ask what your preferred level of spiciness is, but in case they don't, just tell them.

When it comes to wontons in chili oil and dan dan mian, my heart still belongs to Shufeng Garden (in the form of Zhong's Dumplings) down the street, but unfortunately, Shufeng Garden doesn't have patio seating where you can work on your tan whilst sweating out chili oil. That doesn't mean that No. 1 Noodle House doesn't make decent versions of the two dishes, however.

Their wontons in chili oil are perky porky pillows that really pack a punch in its glistening orange chili oil bath and sprinkling of scallions and peanuts. A word of advice though: don't take them to-go if you can help it, else the wonton wrappers tend to turn quite doughy.

On warmer afternoons, which is usually the case in Rowland Heights, my dish of choice is the dan dan mian--a bowl of warm chili-oil, ground pork and peanuts slathered over a bed of cool noodles. Mix it all up for a bowl of absolute carby goodness that packs a nice spicy punch. As with the wontons in chili oil, these noodles should be eaten on the spot.

Regardless of what size noodles you get (No. 1 Noodle House offers them in a small or large size), all three of these dishes can be had for under $20 which I imagine would make my mom quite proud of me for finding such a gem in the same neighborhood that my paychecks come from.

"My daughter's a financial analyst and really good at math, and she works near a lot of good, cheap Asian restaurants," my mom can say with a smile. Mom's happy. Her friends are happy.

And I'm happy because of numbers 1-10 above and because my mom and her friends are happy. And that's all that really matters.

No. 1 Noodle House
18180 Colima Rd. #B (Yes Plaza)
Rowland Heights, CA 91748
(626) 839-7093
Cash Only

Be sure to read Mmm-Yoso's, Naked Sushi's and Hungrybunny's reviews of No. 1 Noodle House too!

Cheaters are Losers: A Spicy, Oily Indulgence at Shufeng Garden, Rowland Heights

I've been good.

I've pretty much kept my daily caloric intake to about 1400 a day.

I've been working out 5 days a week, some days at a pretty high intensity.

And I've lost 15 pounds since I've started this Biggest Loser challenge about 6 weeks ago. Not too shabby, eh?

But that 15 pounds lost hasn't all been a result of me being good. It is also, in my opinion, a result of me being very, very bad.

No matter how many tasty and healthy recipes I have up my sleeve, day after day of low calorie, low fat, low sodium, low carb, mayo-less, bacon-less, whole grain, high-fiber, sugar-free, dressing-on-the-side bullshit makes me want to eat the couch. So if I didn't allow myself to cheat on my diet once a week, I would literally consume upholstery. Topped with cheese and butter, of course.

One of my most recent cheat meals involved an oil-laden, fried, fatty, carbo-loaded feast at Shufeng Garden. And yes, this Rowland Heights mini-mall Sichuan did indeed do its job of fending off those late night upholstery cravings as well as punishing this unfaithful dieter with red-hot, spicy pain that hurt so much I liked it.

I'd remembered photos of an oil-slathered fatty pork dish on some local blogs and knew right away that this was exactly what I needed. Thanks to a Mandarin Chinese speaking coworker, printouts of photos of the dish from local blogs' jaunts to the restaurant's second location in San Gabriel, as well as an email from SinoSoul with the names of recommended dishes in Chinese, my non-Mandarin speaking, non-Chinese reading, Chinese self was able to get some Pork Butt in Garlic Mud into my now-smaller belly.

The cool, thin slices of half meat/half fat stripes bathed in spicy chili oil definitely satisfied my fat-covered-in-more-fat craving. I'd imagined them to be a little thicker and served warmer, but the dish was good nonetheless.

The large pot of Water Boiled Fish we ordered looked like something out a movie: a virtual sea of orangey-red angry with red pepper flakes, like a vast body of fluid over which you'd be rowing a decrepid boat in hell. The cauldron of white fish fillets and assorted vegetables soaked in a spicy red bath wasn't as spicy as I thought it was going to be, which is either good or bad depending on your tolerance for spice. I personally would have liked it to be spicier and perhaps a little more tangy, but it was still a nice accompaniment for a hot bowl of steamed rice.

Zhong's Dumplings were al dente pillows of pork-filled goodness served with a healthy dose of (you guessed it) chili oil. A sprinkling of sesame seeds added a nutty bite to these smoky and spicy little pouches.

It was perhaps the restaurant's Dan Dan Mian that put Shufeng Garden on LA's foodie map to begin with--what with having made Jonathan Gold's Best Dishes of 2009 list--and for good reason. It looks like a none-too-exciting small bowl of noodles topped with ground pork and spinach upon first glance, but after mixing the al dente noodles up with all that's in that bowl and taking a slurp, it's a multi-dimensional flavor experience that will both enlighten and numb your tastebuds. It's spicy, acidic, herbal and smoky all at the same time, with flavors that work together but that are distinguishable separately as well.

A cheat day can't be called a cheat day without something fried, so infidelity in the form of the restaurant's Shufeng Spicy Chicken and Intestines in Chili & Wild Pepper were pure guilty, spicy perfection. Fried meat morsels are fun, but not as fun as when they're fried with as much chilis and pepper as there were pieces of meat. I especially liked the fried intestine which were fried to a beautiful golden crisp on the outside which gave way to a slightly bouncy funkiness on the inside--a funkiness that only offal enthusiasts can appreciate.


After having inhaled three bowls of hot, steamy rice and five tongue-tingly good dishes with enough chili oil to grease up my newly toned biceps, I was more than ready to go back to 400 calorie a meal "budget." Until the next cheat day, that is. Sometimes you just have to be bad to be good.

Shufeng Garden
18459 Colima Road
Rowland Heights, CA 91748
(626) 839-7589

From Noodles To Sex: The Prescription-Free Way To Migraine Relief

Non-migrane sufferers need not read this.

'Cause you're those people who look at us migraine sufferers like we're crazy when we say our heads hurt so much that it feels like it's being squeezed by a vice-grip and that the very sound of your voice makes us want to hurl all over your lap. Yes, they are debilitating. No we are not being whiny crybaby sissies when we say that we need to go home because of a headache. Migraines suck.

Maybe it's from fatigue or maybe even from the fact that my post-partum hormones are having a party, but whatever the reason may be, I've unfortunately been getting alot of migraines lately. Fortunately, given how much I hate taking prescription meds, I've got a list of ways you too can get migraine relief without having to see the doctor (unless you're screwing him or her...read on)

1) Turn down the lights & noise Duh.

2) Excedrin Migraine OK, yes it's a pill that you still have to pop, but I remain delusional that it won't have as many short or long term side effects since it's over the counter. Just one of these asprin/acetominophen/caffiene cocktails works for me. The trick, though, is to pop one of these babies when you feel the slightest hint of a headache coming on, otherwise you may be too late.

3) Minty oil or balm Yes, you will smell like your 85 year old Chinese grandma, but this stuff works. Simply dab some on the areas that are ailing you, such as your temples, forehead, neck or that little spot just under your nose and you'll feel your head clear up. (Just be cautious not to get too close to your eyes!) My formula of choice is White Flower Oil since I've been using it for everything from stomach aches to headaches since childhood; I also like that its vintage-y looking bottles come in three sizes including a miniature one that I take with me wherever I go. These can be purchased for a couple bucks anywhere Chinese health products and herbs are sold such as Wing Hop Fung; a better known choice is Tiger Balm which can even be purchased at your local drugstore.

4) Spicy foods I know, I know. The last thing you want to do when you're all nauseous is eat, but eating something sometimes helps to curb the nausea. (This was also true for me during pregnancy--hmm, could there be a connection?) Additionally, it's always been my personal theory that migraines are your body's way of telling you it's trying hard to eliminate something it doesn't want up in there. Eat something spicy--a big steaming bowl of spicy noodles is my personal fave--to make yourself sweat and to get that nose running which will hopefully help clear up that foggy-headed feeling that often accompanies a migraine. I always keep some Nong Shim Neoguri Spicy Seafood Udon on hand just in case I'm feeling too crappy to pick up some pho, boat noodles, bibim naeng myun or wonton noodles.

5) Caffeine, preferably with carbonation Caffeine helps to constrict the blood vessels that caused the headache in the first place. I usually reach for a coke before the coffee for this next reason...

6) Gas No, not the kind you put in your car, silly. You know what kind of gas I mean; yes, that's right...burp or fart. I don't know why, but it helps take the edge off the pain.

7) Sex Has someone ever given you the excuse "Not tonight dear, I have a headache?" Well there's a chance that he or she was lying. Studies have shown that the endorphins and pain relieving horomones released while knockin' boots helps to cure headaches. No spouse, significant other or booty call around? Get creative. You know what I mean. Oh yeah, and don't do numbers 6 & 7 together, please.

8) Elimination I know this is gross, but as I mentioned before, I always have the feeling that my body's trying to get rid of something every time I have a migraine. Which is why, despite my lifelong fear of throwing up, everytime I actually did hurl from the migraine associated nausea, I immediately felt better. And um, not to be even grosser, but elimination the other way also provides some headache relief. (Note: don't do this either if doing number 7)

9) Take those contacts out The last thing you want when you already feel like your head is being sucked into a vacuum is the feeling of suction cups grasping onto your eyeballs. Take those suckers out or if you can't at least give your eyes a good drenching with rewetting drops.

10) Clean up Hopefully you did this before doing #7, but even if you didn't do the deed, go take a steamy hot shower or at least go brush your teeth and wash your face. The water helps the muscles and blood vessels in your head and neck chill out.

11) Sleep Probably the best cure of them all. When all else fails, turn the lights out and catch some zzz's. Your body will thank you.

So there you have it. Now these aren't meant to be a substitution for seeing the doc if your migraines persist...they're merely ways to make your day less miserable when that headache does strike. And there's no guarantee that any or all of these will work for everyone either as each person is different so don't come after me if none of these work. I might just throw up on you.

P.S. This may be a little controversial, but you can always kill two birds with one stone and opt for plastic surgery and botox to get rid of both your forehead frown lines and your migraines. I will be following steps 1 through 11 above until I hit my 40's (right around the corner by the way) which will hopefully also be when going under the knife for migraine relief becomes more mainstream. No more migraines and health insurance paying for a little nip-tuck? Yes, please.

Back Where I Belong: Wonton Forest, City of Industry

It sucks to be lost.

Like the time we got lost in the Northwestern tip of Maui and were driving on a one lane road on the side of a mountain next to the ocean.

Like the time I made one wrong turn and got lost in Downtown LA's skid row for the first time. (*Disclaimer: Notice I said first time. Don't think I'm I big ol' priss; I drive through it all the time with no problem now.)

Like the time I got lost in Anaheim for oh, 27 months???

OK fine, so what if it's only figuratively speaking? Sue me. Since October 2007 until the day I was let go, I took at least two hours out of my day to drive to this place where I worked around beach people all the time (sorry beach people, I love the beach but I'm a city girl at heart so I've never understood the whole beachy lifestyle thing), where with the exception of a few friends the people I worked with were complete two-faced assholes, where all these two-faced assholes' idea of real Mexican food is Chipotle, and where the nearby dining options were limited to chain restaurants and one mediocre pho joint. I mean, where the hell was I, the Twilight Zone??? Two fucking years I was lost in this hell hole! Two fucking years!

With one hand on the steering wheel and one hand holding my Google Map (I don't do Nav- Systems either--I'm a map girl. Nav-Systems are for sissies), I exited the 60 Freeway across from Diamond Plaza in Rowland Heights on my way to my first job interview for the company I work for now. I think I felt my heart jump out of my mouth when I saw the Chinese restaurant signs. Could it really be true that this potential employer was located close to some actual non-chain Asian restaurants? With the much improved food choices as my incentive, I pushed myself to do extra, EXTRA well at that interview. And guess what? I nailed it and landed that job in three days. Sweet.

So yeah, you bet your ass that the first thing I did upon getting that job offer besides going on a rock star lunch tour was do some serious web-tective work as far as where to eat near the office. Thanks to a four star review on Yelp, an inquiry on Chowhound and a very favorable post from the blog Go Ramen, Wonton Forest would be the first of a long list of local restaurants to try. This little restaurant, located in a railroad-track adjacent Smart & Final mini-mall in the City of Industry, would also represent all the positive change that was happening in my life.

When I was lost in Anaheim, I felt like I had the life sucked out of me. Constantly angry. Always tired. Never had time for myself. Looked like shit. Felt like shit. Every day that I was there could have been tagged with the infamous FML. Since I found my way out, er, I mean got booted out, I feel like I've gotten a piece of my life back.

When I was lost in Anaheim, I became somewhat disconnected with my passion for food for a few reasons. One, as I mentioned before, there was nothing great to eat around the office, at least nothing that I could drive to, eat, and drive back from within reasonable time limits. And two, my job was wearing me out so badly that I lost both time and desire for much of my gastronomic pursuits.

When I was lost in Anaheim, the simple goodness of a bowl of wonton noodle soup was nowhere to be found. A few visits to Wonton Forest later, and I realized what I had been missing.

Being Chinese-American, wonton noodle soup is and always has been a staple for me. Maybe it was because my parents secretly put the stuff into my baby bottles, but whatever the reason, I've looked to this dish to warm my stomach and soothe my soul since childhood. Sometimes, my parents would treat me and my brother to a steaming bowl of wonton noodles soup at some Oakland Chinatown restaurant (usually Gum Wah) after we spent the morning lugging several plastic grocery bags and following our parents closely as they weaved in and out of Chinese markets. But more often, my parents would make noodles for us at home. Everything, with the exception of the noodles, was homemade--the soup, the wontons, the toppings--all made from scratch and all made from the heart.

With its minimalist modern decor, Wonton Forest looks more like a mainstream fusion sushi roll joint than a place I'd be able to find a bowl of noodles that is not far from those noodle lunches at home with my family. Like anything made by hand at my family's house, there's always something about small batch operations that lends a certain coarseness to the final product; the wontons that Chef/Owner Paul makes fresh daily are no exception. At my parent's house, no food grinders or mills were used to make their wonton fillings; the pork and shrimp were chopped by hand at my house and though I'm not sure of the exact method to Paul's wonton madness, his wontons' textural imperfections (which trust me, are a good thing here) tell me that there's minimal machine or mass-produced intervention here.

Same goes for their soup which, rather than tasting of MSG and being strained to the hilt as is the case at many larger scale restaurants, has the clean, pure taste of chicken or a beef/chicken combo and made even better by the tiny bits of meat or luscious fat globules that made it past the strainer.

Sit at Wonton Forest's counter and watch as Paul preps each bowl of noodles himself, separating and plumping up the springy egg or rice noodle strands with long chopsticks. Each bowl of noodles' toppings are carefully arranged atop the noodles (something that my parents also always took the time to do) before the soup is poured in. Order their signature Wonton Forest Noodle Soup and you'll get an array of goodies including wontons (duh), yau choy-sum, a soy infused boiled egg, tender slices of pork, scallions and cilantro and fried garlic bits atop the noodles. Or, you can order the Chiu-Chow Noodles and get a slew of meaty and seafood-y goodness arranged carefully around your bowl: shreds of chicken, minced pork, plump shrimp and springy fish balls. Add some of Chef Paul's homemade chili garlic sauce (which is supposedly made in a three-day process and is actually available for purchase, by the way) to your steaming bowl of noodles before you start slurping and add in extra dabs as needed. It's an extra kick that actually enhances the flavor of the soup and all the tasty bits within rather than detracting from or overpowering it. Really good stuff.

Food-aside, this little City of Industry gem has played an important role in bringing me back to my blogging life. The delicious food and super friendly vibe of the first restaurant in my must-try-restaurants-near-work list helped to kick start this part of my life that I had become so detached from. "This is totally doable," I thought to myself after my first visit to Wonton Forest, "Back in Anaheim...not so much." Subsequent lunchtime visits to Wonton Forest for me would include an interview for a foodie documentary (story for another post) and a meetup with fellow bloggers Go Ramen and Pepsi Monster. Would I have ever been able to do that in my previous LOST life and still get all my work done? Hell no.

I was lost, and now am found. Thanks, Wonton Forest, for bringing me home.

Wonton Forest
18230 Gale Ave.
City of Industry, CA 91748
(626) 435-1430
Cash only

Tweeting My Way To Taipei Golden Pork Chop, Rowland Heights

Just got out of painfully boring meeting. (10:59 AM April 17th from web)

Have to pee. (11:01 AM April 17th from web)

Am tweeting whilst on toilet. (11:03 AM April 17th from twitterific)

@yomama No I said PEE (11:05 AM April 17th from web)

Am wondering what to eat for lunch. (11:07 AM April 17th from web)

Acting busy; boss thinks I'm still working on a project which I already finished this AM (11:08 AM April 17th from web)

Reading food blogs via browser window in corner that i shrunk to midget size (11:11 AM April 17th from web)

Just read @kungfupanda post about Taipei Golden Pork Chop in Rowland Heights. Only half mile away think I'll go there. (11:22 AM April 17th from web)

Fuck just got email someone needs analysis done by noon. FML (11:24 AM April 17th from web)

Going into data warehouse to shop for data (11:26 AM April 17th from web)

Maybe I should be working instead of twittering, I really need to get this done (11:30 AM April 17th from web)

Can't help it, I am addicted to twitter (11:31 AM April 17th from web)

Slicing, dicing, and cooking up these numbers 1-2-3 I'm done! (11:51 AM April 17th from web)

@yomama My excel skillz are like the most agile hooker's. I can bend my data any way u want LOL (11:54 AM April 17th from web)

Just emailed analysis out (11:56 AM April 17th from web)

Getting ready to leave 4 lunch, drank 2 much coffee earlier, have 2 pee again (11:59 AM April 17th from web)

Twittering on the can again (12:03 PM April 17th from twitterific)

Walking out to car (12:05 PM April 17th from twitterific)

Am at stoplight so it is OK to tweet right? (12:08 PM April 17th from twitterific)

Just got to Diamond Plaza, address 4 this place points to Brochette??? Where is TGPC??? (12:08 PM April 17th from twitterific)

@randomfoodie Thx, I wouldve never known it is inside Brochette. (12:10 PM April 17th from twitterific)

Found table near window and sat down. Place looks like a Japanese pub (12:11 PM April 17th from twitterific)

Lady just asked: R U alone? "By yourself" would have been better, "alone" makes me sound like a freakin loser. (12:13 PM April 17th from twitterific)

Got handed the menu slip & pencil and got asked if I read Chinese which I don't. Got "the" look. (12:16 PM April 17th from twitterific)

Noticed that they have prune juice on the menu (12:17 PM April 17th from twitterific)

What should I get? Hmm, think I must get fried porkchop but w/ rice or noodles? (12:18 PM April 17th from twitterific)

Wondering why no one is stalking me if my twitter followers know I'm here (12:20 PM April 17th from twitterific)

Oh well someone could still show up (12:25 PM April 17th from twitterific)

Yay lunch is here: fried pork chop, rice w pork sauce, veggies and soup..I'm starving! (12:31 PM April 17th from twitterific)

Took a few aerial shots of my dishes as well as closeup food porno shots of the porkchop (12:35 PM April 17th from twitterific)

Soup has seaweed cabbage and some bonito flakes bland but I guess supposed 2 B simple (12:37 PM April 17th from twitterific)

Porkchop fried 2 nice golden brown; sauce is good too (12:39 PM April 17th from twitterific)

Am chewing and swallowing (12:40 PM April 17th from twitterific)

Rice w/ pork sauce tasty but veggies very bland; love the soy infused egg tho (12:43 PM April 17th from twitterific)

BC of decor & nite yakitori menu, asked lady if this is Japanese izakaya by nite she gave me look and just answered "Taiwanese." Oops (12:45 PM April 17th from twitterific)

Paid my bill, its cash only BTW, and left very full (12:55 PM April 17th from twitterific)

Verdict is that food is OK for a lunch spot service is quick & straightforward would return coz its so close (12:58 PM April 17th from twitterific)

Back at office still wondering why no one stalked me (1:07 PM April 17th from web)

Have to pee again (1:09 PM April 17th from web)


***
OK, enough. The purpose of this post? To stop myself from regular twittering/tweeting because I am *this* close to doing it. I know, I know, you're probably thinking what's the big fucking deal, just give in and do it, right? But see, it's a matter of principle to me. On one hand, it's straight up kind of fun. My friends are funny people and I like when my funny friends write funny things. I also think it would be kind of cool to look back upon in the same way a journal or diary would. If I were a business, I could see how Twitter could be a powerful marketing tool, a la Kogi BBQ.

But on the other, much bigger, you-have-man-hands hand, I just don't get how much people are up in other people's business nowadays, and I feel like Twitter is taking social-stalking to a whole new level. I know because I'm guilty of being web-sessive too. Between blogs, Facebook, LinkedIn, and various special-interest forums that I participate in, I feel like the concept of privacy and any "me" time is long gone. I also wonder how people have time to do anything anymore being that we are all so caught up in updating the world with our every move. Do people really give that much of a rat's ass what I am doing right now that they would send an Invitation To Join Twitter to a complete stranger? Does our society have that much A.D.D. that we no longer have the stamina to read/write an entire paragraph from start to finish and would much rather read/write "sentences" of 140 words-or-less? Since Twitter seems to be an important networking tool within our current foodblogging community, do we think that Twitter is enhancing or taking away from blogging? Could it be that food writing, or heck, even writing in general is evolving and that Twitter or something similar will eventually replace blogging? Gosh I hope not. I happen to like paragraphs.

To Tweet or Not To Tweet? That is the question.

Taipei Golden Pork Chop Noodle and Rice
1380 Fullerton Road, suite 106
Rowland Heights, CA 91748
(626) 810-5570
Open from 11am to 2:30 pm, cash only.

Rock Star Lunch Tour, Final Stop: I'm Just A Wannabe Cover Artist, Corner Chicken Cafe, Koreatown

Sometimes as much as you wanna be a rock star, you just can't. Maybe you don't have the money. Maybe you don't have the talent. Maybe you don't have the looks. Whatever the case, you're just never going to be the real thing.

But if you live in LA, there might just be a place for you even if you're not the real deal because where else have you ever seen so many posers, wannabes, knockoffs and straight up keeping-up-with-the-joneses? Let's be honest, you know you secretly want to grace the homepage of Perez Hilton one day. You made reservations at Geisha House on a weekend night wanting to be seen in the slinky top you just bought from Forever 21, and then the next morning you head out to brunch at Toast Bakery Cafe on 3rd, not so much to eat, but to be seen waiting amongst all the other young starlet wannabes in their perfectly messed up bed head-do's and velour track suits. You can hardly afford to pay your bills every month so you've considered buying that Prado, Louis Wuitton or Channel bag the last time you were at the Alley, but are afraid someone's gonna see you for who you really are.

Same thing goes for the food world. One minute there's Red Mango and Pinkberry. Next minute there's Blue Apple and Green Peach and a thousand other fro-yo knockoffs. One minute there's Kogi BBQ truck, the next minute we'll be seeing lines of people outside of Chinese-Puerto Rican fusion or Japanese-Ethiopian fusion trucks. One minute there's Corner Bakery Cafe and California Chicken Cafe, next minute there's...

...Los Angeles Corner Chicken Cafe???? Or is it Los Angeles Corner Kitchen Cafe???

Based on lots of positive reviews on Yelp including raves about their naeng-myun, My girfriend H and I had originally wanted to have the fifth and final stop of my Rock Star Lunch Tour end on a cold-arrowroot-noodle-note at Yu Chun in Koreatown. To our surprise, however, Yu Chun was nowhere to be found when we arrived at the 6th and Alexandria corner minimall. We asked the valet guys where Yu Chun had gone and they told us that it had changed ownership, and that the new place was good. (Really, Valet Guy, really???? Or do you just want our tips?) Hesitantly, we walked into the sterile, next-to-no-atmosphere cafe and paused.

"Uh, is this place trying to be Corner Bakery or something?"

"Yeah, but it's Korean"

"Wanna try it?"

"Yeah, I don't feel like driving anywhere else. And they do have bibim naeng-myun. But the Corner Bakery thing kinda weirds me out."

"I know, right?"

I suppose the small variety of noodle and rice dishes such as naeng-myun and bibim-bap along with roasted chicken are to Corner Chicken Cafe as what sandwiches, soup and salads are to Corner Bakery Cafe. Although the roasted chicken is what this K-town wannabe chain restaurant seems to be promoting, H & I went straight for the bibim naeng-myun.

And just like the food at Corner Bakery Cafe is, in my opinion, mediocre at best, our bibim naeng-myun was certainly nothing to write home about. Its flavor was probably its best asset, with a nice balance of spicy, sweet and sour notes coming from gochujang, garlic, sesame and vinegar. The black arrowroot noodles, on the other hand, were too tightly packed into a tangled lumpy mess. Chilled beef slices that have a slightly drier texture are to be expected in this spicy cold noodle dish, but beef slices that have the texture of thawed-out freezer burn and that are pretty much grey in color are a whole other nasty ballgame.

Aside from the great company, I was pretty bummed that my Rock Star Lunch Tour Week had to end this way. Corner Chicken Cafe just didn't have that star quality for me, at least not in their bibim naeng-myun. Sorry, Corner Chicken Cafe, maybe if you stop trying to be something you're not and just try to be yourself, you'd have much better food. That's not to say I'd never give you another shot, but for now there's just too much competition in this town--and especially in K-town--for you to make the cut this time.

Thanks for following me on my week long Rock Star Lunch Tour! It's back to the grind I go!

Los Angeles Corner Chicken/Kitchen Cafe
3470 W. 6th Street
Los Angeles, CA 90020
(I can't find their phone number anywhere because it's not listed anywhere yet. C'mon yelpers, get on it!)

Rock Star Lunch Tour, Day Two: Partying Like A Broke-Ass Rock Star, Sapp Coffee Shop and Scoops Ice Cream, LA

I may have a paycheck in my future, but I certainly ain't gonna pre-spend it all at one restaurant. What I love about LA is that you can one, have a good lunch at Spago, and two, have about four even better lunches for the price of that Spago lunch. The economy sucks, yo. You gotta stretch your dollar as far as you can; have that Spago lunch and you may not be able to afford those Christian Louboutin's you've been eyeing, especially since your company just slashed salaries by 10% across the board. And God forbid you wear your Payless Shoe Source platform pumps to the next big meeting--you'll surely be the laughing stock of the department, which could lead you to get fired. Then what???

For Day Two of my Rock Star Lunch Tour, I'm going to show you where you can party like a rock star (and with dessert) for a little over ten bucks after tax and tip!

You've probably seen Sapp Coffee Shop a bajillion times when the Travel Channel repeats the LA episode of No Reservations. Hell, you've probably even gone there so that you can sit exactly where Tony Bourdain sat. (Oh, you mean only I did that???) Whatever the case, go there and order what my noodle-whoring friend recommended to everyone's favorite bad boy chef--the Thai Boat Noodles--and you can't go wrong. It's quality and quantity all for under six bucks--a smorgasbord of tasty animal goodies like beef flank, brisket, tripe, meatballs, liver, tendon, and fried pork skins doing some synchronized swimming with rice noodles in a most savory blood-thickened soup. If this genius composition of spicy, salty, sweet and bitter flavors and crunchy, chewy, snappy, and creamy textures doesn't float your boat (pun intended), Sapp's got a boatload (another pun intended) of other Thai dishes for dirt cheap.

No doubt you'll need something to cleanse your palate after all that funky noodley goodness, so take your warm belly a couple miles south to Scoops in the Hel-Mel area for some very innovative gelato. Sure, it's been blogged and yelped about close to six million times over the last three years but I don't care. It's good, the flavors are like none you'll ever have and owner-creator Tai Kim is as sweet as can be. On this particular Tuesday afternoon, I treated myself to a scoop of Brown Bread, texturally interesting with bits of Grape Nuts, and a scoop of Strawberry-Lychee, light and refreshing. Unless you go absolutely ape-shit here and gorge yourself with gelato, Scoops should only set you back a few bucks. (But don't forget to leave them a little something at the counter!)

So there you have it, folks, a rock-star worthy lunch with dessert for next to nothing! Pretty soon you'll have cut your monthly expenses down so much that you'll be strutting down the aisles at Big Lots in your sexy red-soled Louboutin's in no time.

Sapp Coffee Shop
5183 Hollywood Blvd
Los Angeles, CA 90027
(323) 665-1035

Scoops Ice Cream
712 N. Heliotrope Dr.
Los Angeles, CA 90029
(323) 906-2649